Life, I have some questions for you about the game that you make us all play. I want you to answer them honestly. My body is exhausted, but there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep until you tell me the truth.
So. Why have you dealt me these cards? I’m going through them again and again. I’m reordering and rearranging them over and over. No full houses. No flushes. Not even a three-of-a-kind. My mind is a blur. Sometimes I think I can conjure a straight, before I realise that I’ve deluded myself into thinking that six is a nine. Surely you know that the person who misses by an inch suffers more pain than the person who misses by a mile?
Life, I asked around as well. No-one in the game has anything better than a two pair. Why did you do this? I also cheated and looked at their cards. You know, it turns out that one guy has all the cards I need to complete my potential hands. What did you do that for? In my frustration, I tried to take those cards that I needed. You were prepared for that. Somehow, inexplicably, they’re slipping through my fingers again and again. Of course — you tampered with them. I have to admit, even from the depths of my anger: well-played.
But wait a second. Life, are you listening to me? Can you even hear me? I’m shouting as loud as I can, but I’m not getting an answer from you.
Okay. Fine — who am I kidding? I know you can’t hear me. You don’t want to hear me. You never wanted to hear anyone else. You were cold and callous to them, and they crashed to the ground, never to rise again.
And I do know the answer to the question I asked you. You enjoy using your game to mess around with us. And that’s why so many of us hate you, Life. Because you don’t care.